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What To Do When You’re Single on Valentine’s Day

By: Kajamba Fitz-Henley

If we’re really being honest with ourselves, Valentine’s Day is just a special day set aside for us to remember. . . how tragically single we are. We get a WHOLE day to do it! And it’s at the beginning of the year too. . . I mean, what better way to start off 2017 than reflecting on all your painfully overt shortcomings that just makes you a literal romance-repellent? Am I right future cat ladies and gentlemen??

This cheerful day is especially fun for the recently single. For you poor souls, I share some wise words, “Don’t cry because it’s over, SMILE because it happened.” So there you go kids, smile because you wasted a year of your life on him, smile because he blue-ticked you when you asked him why he wanted to break things off, smile because he “broke it off” on your birthday and SMILE because you just told all the girls in your form about his ‘gland problems’ .

Seriously though, for all us social freaks—I mean single people, Valentine’s Day should be a beautiful reminder of all the drama we don’t have to deal with. So celebrate accordingly:

  • Throw yourself a pity party, decorate it with your tears and play the sweet songs of your monstrous sobs

  • Speed eat copious amounts of chocolate (you totally won’t regret it later)

  • Stalk the Instagram of all the couples you know will post cute pics and start planning to die alone

  • Spend the day writing detailed love poems about your crush

  • Ambush someone you know is single and desperate like you

  • Hack your ex’s finsta and delete all his memes

  • Spend the day in bed listening to Adele

  • Do something productive, take a hammer and… smash your ex’s new iPhone 6

 

 

Or ACTUALLY:

  • Spend the day with your best friends and do all the things you guys love to do

  • Spend the day by yourself reflecting on the things that make you awesome because you know they’re there

  • Hang out with your squad like it’s a normal day

  • Try talking to your crush. It’s Valentine’s Day, they might be in the mood for new romantic prospects

  • Spend time with your mom and let her tell you why Valentine’s Day really isn’t that important when you’re as old as her

  • Sit and read a good romance novel

  • Check the Alphabet Soup website and look for good Valentine’s Day tips

  • Acknowledge that Valentine’s Day REALLY isn’t that important and do something you know is productive

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